The Worst Day of My Life

Today is definitely the worst day of my life. I've made a decision that I could have regret of my life if it doesn't turns right. I've given freedom to the love of my life that no matter what she does have nothing to do with me. We are no longer attached, we can no longer call ourselves couple. I've no one to talk to about how down how unhappy how empty i'm feeling right now. All i can do is to write it down here so that i can release it out. If you are right in front of me right now, I would have hugged you telling you how much I need you how much I loved you how much I missed you even though we seen each other yesterday. The day and night without you makes my life so empty. I felt so tired trying to fake my smile to everyone. She asked whether am I emo, I told her "nop nop". I wanted to tell her how can I not be emo without having you in my life? I really wish that this is a dream i really wish i could just wake up from the dream and starts all my day waking up in the morning beside you. I really wish to fix this situation and move on with you continuing to pursue my goal of life which is having you as my wife one day.

I know for now, no matter what I do it doesn't make any changes. We'll just remain as of now. I really hope that this situation will go away as soon as possible and that our love will remain strong as it is.

When you asked what song I'm listening to, I'm actually listening to 爱你的宿命. I really want to sing it out loud to you as the song really represents how I am feeling right now.

I hope you are able to listen to my right now. I know i could not be so selfish holding you back. I know all you need is time for a break to settle you stuffs but please please please your stuffs with me is not settled. We have years and years and years to go to settle our things. It is a never ending story. I wish .....

My Job

I've been working in Public Bank for roughly 1 and a half month. Throughout this month of working, I know that this job doesn't suits me or maybe I can say that I don't suit this job. The time is too flexible that I myself can't discipline myself and to put full effort in to it. It's not that I'm blaming on the job but I'm blaming it upon myself. I'm those people who need instructions and guidance to improve. I can say that I'm a fast learner. In Public Bank, for the early few weeks I'm so keen to work and to start the job but unfortunately I here and there whenever I ask about the job they'll tell me " bring in case and I'll teach you " . My perception was, if I know how to bring in case I don't need you to teach me. Man, all I'm asking was all about the product. If I don't know about the product how am I going to approach my customer to bring in some cases?

Some of my friends told me not to give up so easily but I already know the job is not for me. I understand and know that the job will give me a very bright future if I'm willing to stick to it. But come to think about it, I myself know that I'm not a very self discipline people. I know I can't handle this. It's all about time management. I'm really sorry to say that I'm still in those "childish" mindset where I always think of "fun fun fun and fun" . All I need now is a job that will lead me to discipline myself. (I'm trying to say office working hour job)

I'm very lost and unhappy nowadays. Something keep bothering me, which I myself don't know whether was it a crucial problem. I tried to be more confident and to have move EQ to control over my emotion and i'm trying very hard. I can say that I've improved but it's not enough.

“Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.” Please let me try out new way to lead my life to a better life.

Talking to The Moon

Its like so many days and so many nights I've been thinking and thinking of the same problem. Sometimes I just feel like giving up, but I'm afraid that I'll have the biggest regret of my life giving up on the thing that I love so much.

I'm very very lost, hoping for a better and happier day to come. I just want to see her. Although I know seeing her doesn't make anything much different but I'll just feel so calm everytime when I see her. All I hope is to see her.

I know the problem that we're facing seems to be very hard to be settle, but i know I'll try my very best to do anything and everything that i could. I know I want you back. I don't want this relationship to be so VAGUE! I have to improve myself so that it won't happen again.

Came across this song Talking to the Moon by Bruno Mars. It calms me down. nice song .

Kidz88rex All time favourite Cyril TakaYama

Wonderful technique handling the cigarrete ... Enjoy ..

Testing

Was writing blog using the msn space but now would like to try out what's so special about this blogspot that everyone are using. =)